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OffTopic > If ancient Rome had the Internet ...

#123308 - wintermute - Tue Mar 27, 2007 5:21 am

The destruction of Pompeii in 79AD is the most viewed video at YouTube. The first comment is..."OMG so cool! Volcanos ROCK!"

Attila the Hun has his own MySpace page. Nobody ever rejects his "invite a friend" emails.

The soothsayer's "Ides of March" email fails to get Caesar's proper attention as it's inadvertently filtered into his junk folder.

But at least Caesar's "Et tu Brute?" comment is available as a free ringtone download.

The domain gladiator.rome sells for the record sum of 1,000,000 denarii.

The owner of hadriansucks.rome is compelled to hand over both the domain name and selected body parts by an independent domain tribunal chaired by...Emperor Hadrian.

"Naked Cleopatra" is the top search term on Google.

Unfortunately, the Queen of Egypt dies an early death after misunderstanding IT's call to embrace an ASP solution.

Hannibal blogs his way across the Alps with posts like, "Whoops, lost another elephant today."

But he runs out of money when his PPC budget is plundered by an iberian click scam organized by Publius Cornelius Scipio.

Tiber.com opens, initially selling scrolls and tablets before expanding to include togas, pottery, and do-it-yourself mosaic kits.

Websites like handsome-literate-male-british-slave.com pollute the search listings thanks to generous commissions at the slaves.co.rome affiliate program.

Roman programmers moan about projects outsourced to cheap coders in Mesopotamia.

The Colosseum is renamed the eBay Colosseum, with free wireless hotspots outside the lark's tongue restaurant.

The volume of spam collapses when the penalty for not providing a working opt-out mechanism becomes equal billing with the lions at the eBay Colosseum.

But we still get emails featuring Brunhilda, the lonely Visigoth, and hot deals on cheap peacock livers from Gaul.

Nobody invents a spam filter good enough for the House of the Vestals.

Classical geeks wear t-shirts proclaiming, "there's no place like CXXVII.0.0.I" (bonus points if you get that one)

Finally, Rome burns to the ground while Emperor Nero battles online with Hakkar the Soulflayer in World of Warcraft.
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#123321 - Ant6n - Tue Mar 27, 2007 7:56 am

I wonder how romans would write 10010101110...

#123322 - HyperHacker - Tue Mar 27, 2007 8:00 am

But Roman Numerals had no zero... hrm...

Oh yes, and instead of pirates, there'd be ROMans. <_<
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#123327 - Lick - Tue Mar 27, 2007 8:38 am

Mehh.. No source mentioned?
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#123328 - wintermute - Tue Mar 27, 2007 9:03 am

Turned up in my mail this morning no source to cite.
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#123353 - Fatnickc - Tue Mar 27, 2007 4:43 pm

Great!
Hate to add to the list of complaints, but wasn't there a news article somewhere recently about Cleopatra possibly having been quite ugly?
Edit: Yep, the BBC has an article on it.
Still, great!

#123365 - keldon - Tue Mar 27, 2007 6:12 pm

Yeah I saw that, with the whole Caesar style nose and all. But they might have only depicted her like that to give a more empowering appearance; or due to the style of art at the time.

#123381 - HyperHacker - Tue Mar 27, 2007 7:59 pm

It must have been hard to draw someone's face accurately on a coin with the tools they had back then.
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#123421 - sgeos - Wed Mar 28, 2007 12:46 am

HyperHacker wrote:
It must have been hard to draw someone's face accurately on a coin with the tools they had back then.

They had wild skills. You would too if you spent your entire life doing the same one thing. Monks learned how to reproduce handwriting. Picking up that skill would take forever. (I'm not sure it is unversal handwriting reproduction either- Monk A can write like person B.)

-Brendan

#123670 - RegalSin - Fri Mar 30, 2007 2:13 am

If they had internet they would all be stuck inside playing lets look into the crystal ball and conspire.
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