#167902 - the-anonymous-coward - Thu Apr 02, 2009 8:27 pm
Hey, guys. Just wanted to start a discussion on something that bothers be quite a bit. I am not exactly a dumb person - I make good grades and whatnot - but I feel that I have a very poor memory. I am atrocious at remembering names, whether in social situations or key figures in history and the like. I am plagued by the tip-of-my-tongue syndrome. I love to read books but feel that if I was tested on the contents of that book that I would score far less than the average reader. I cannot picture a persons face fully in my mind's eye, even say my dad (who I see daily), though I can picture and manipulate shapes and ideas. I can fail to recall the names of people I am close to when trying to do so in a conversation or on command. I often (very often) loose my train of thought while explaining things, but worse than that, I can't seem to get back on track. I write well, but it takes me a long time to form my ideas. My concentration is poor as well. People say that I just don't remember because I am not interested, but it feels like more than that. Plus, I forget things that I am interested in. I can't even really remember much of my past experiences, etc.
I think that is enough to get my point across. On the other hand, I tend to be creative and interested in many many things. I feel this - poor memory - holds me back more than anything else. I guess I am just wondering if anyone else struggles in a similar way? How do you cope?
#167915 - Optihut - Fri Apr 03, 2009 11:53 am
When meeting new people, how about silently repeating their names in your head a couple of times and forcing yourself to use their names. That usually helps with memorizing them.
Also, everybody forgets names, so you'll stand out if you actually do make an effort and remember next time you meet them.
As for general memory issues: Write everything down (logbook, to do list, post it reminders, etc.).
#167921 - gauauu - Fri Apr 03, 2009 3:15 pm
| Optihut wrote: |
| When meeting new people, how about silently repeating their names in your head a couple of times and forcing yourself to use their names. That usually helps with memorizing them. |
I know someone who, whenever she meets a new person, "writes" their name on the back of her teeth with her tongue. She said it's really hard to forget after you do that....
#167934 - ritz - Fri Apr 03, 2009 7:31 pm
| the-anonymous-coward wrote: |
| I guess I am just wondering if anyone else struggles in a similar way? How do you cope? |
I know how you feel, I have all the *exact* same problems as you describe (not just the name crap). I've been like this for many, many years. Unfortunately, I haven't coped with it at all... it's just what I've become now. Finding the actual cause (be it psychological, physiological, etc.) might shed some light and give you ideas on how to cope/overcome.
#167939 - ScottLininger - Fri Apr 03, 2009 9:19 pm
I have a terrible memory, so much so that my friends and family tease me about it endlessly. HOWEVER, this is wonderful for three reasons:
1. I never hold grudges, because I can't remember them.
2. I tend to remember the good stuff about situations more than the bad.
3. I occasionally get to re-experience books and movies that I love but can't remember that I do!
So buck up! It's not all bad. ;)
-Scott
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#167941 - the-anonymous-coward - Fri Apr 03, 2009 9:48 pm
Optihut, funny story about the repeating of names idea (though not silently, which would have saved me some embarrassment). A few months ago a couple of girls at my local coffee shop liked the t-shirt I was wearing and said so. I introduced myself and they did the same. "I'm Caroline," said one. "I'm Kimberly," said the other. I smiled. "Okay, I am really bad with names," said I, and began repeating "Kimberly" out loud, to place it firmly in my mind. They exchanged awkward smiles, then looked back at me, allowing me to continue my brute-force memory technique. Their faces, however, became more and more peculiar, and eventually I stopped and kind of just looked at them. "I am just trying to make sure that I don't forget," I said. They gave awkward laughs, looked at one another, and one of them said, "Neither one of our names is Kimberly."
It turned out to be Kimmie or something of the sort. My face reddened and I tucked my tail between my legs and ran over to my chair in the corner, pretending to read my copy of The Fabric of the Cosmos but really dwelling on what an ass I made of myself.
Not sure how I remember that in such detail. Most likely because of how many times I replayed it over in my mind.
ritz, sorry to hear that you struggle with this stuff as well, and even sorrier that you have yet to cope. I can't even say that it is comforting to know that someone else has the same issues, because I know how frustrating it can be. As far as medical reasons why I may be like this, at first I thought maybe ADD or ADHD, but got prescribed some of the medication and it didn't help, which according to the Doc meant that I wasn't ADHD or ADD. I do have some emotional issues. I won't go into too much detail unless requested, but I am likely bi-polar to some degree, which can have similar symptoms as ADD. It could also be that the area of my brain that stores working memory is small. Or it could be that my mind is always^10000000 cluttered and racing and thinking of everything and that there is no time to remember most things. In fact, I take allergy tablets every night to get to sleep.
When you say, "it's just what I've become now," what exactly do you mean? That you have accepted the fact that you have these problems, even though it constantly bothers you, or something else?
#167942 - the-anonymous-coward - Fri Apr 03, 2009 9:51 pm
Scott, unfortunately, I tend to retain the negative memories more than the positive ones. I am trying to change this. I hope that I can.
Also, being a technical person, do you find it difficult to learn new things?
#167944 - ritz - Sat Apr 04, 2009 2:35 am
| the-anonymous-coward wrote: |
| When you say, "it's just what I've become now," what exactly do you mean? That you have accepted the fact that you have these problems, even though it constantly bothers you, or something else? |
Nah, accepted it and doesn't bother me now. It's just the way things are :)
#167945 - the-anonymous-coward - Sat Apr 04, 2009 2:47 am
Ah, got you. Well, that's good that it doesn't bother you anymore. Until that happens for me, I will continue to try to understand and perhaps even correct it.
#167955 - sgeos - Sat Apr 04, 2009 5:10 pm
ADD and ADHD are imaginary diseases that are used to sell drugs to parents without parenting skills. They drug their kids into submission and the pharmaceutical companies make money. Everyone is happy. One of my pharmacist friends agrees with me on this one, although he would probably word it differently and not talk to customers about it. Based on your description, you seem to be a normal guy with a bad memory.
I'm better at learning procedures than memorizing facts. I can always look facts up, so this does not matter in real life. Unfortunately, many education systems are antiquated and don't teach people the skills they need in the real world. They also punish people that do not conform to the arbitrary scoring system they happen to use. Sometimes this is actually intentional.
Just do your best to become a productive member of society and you will be fine.
#167970 - spinal_cord - Sat Apr 04, 2009 7:07 pm
OK, Time to open up to a bunch of strangers....
I first noticed my memory was worse than most people when I was at school (quite a few years ago), It really isn't helpful when you can't remember what you were just being told, even though you were paying full attention. My mind constantly wanders, I have trouble focusing on whatever task is at hand, I know none of my friends birthdays and usually even have to calculate my own age when asked. I can't hold a grudge, like ScottLininger
said, because I can't remember to. I am usually laid back, mostly because I never remember to worry about anything.
I have mostly accepted my 'condition', although it does concern me from time to time, that I don't remember much of what I try to learn, example, I have been learning to code for years, but I am still not very good at it and have to keep looking up commands that I use all of the time because I just cant remember them. It bothers other people more than it does me.
I seem to have rambled a little there... hmmm... in conclusion, there are some good thing to come out of this 'condition', however I forget what it is... I probably mentioned it up there ^.
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#167976 - the-anonymous-coward - Sat Apr 04, 2009 8:49 pm
sgeos, I have to disagree with you on ADD and ADHD being imaginary and even more so on it stemming from bad parenting. You are assuming that a real-life problem, real or imagined, can have only one catalyst (here, bad parenting). But I have heard the argument many times before, presented in the same manner. It really comes down to a given persons definition of, and what constitutes as, a disease - as many disagreements do when replacing disease with x (whether x = just, good, bad, planet (poor pluto, but come on, he had it coming), etc.). Anyhoo, this is a discussion for another topic, one that would be quite interesting in my opinion. I definitely respect your opinion on the matter. I just say, disease or not, if the medicine helps, take it.
In regards to the rest of your post, I pretty much agree. Though I know of no one that knows me that would say I am a normal guy (except me, but then again, I never understood why the rest of the world is damned strange . . .).
spinal_cord, I often look to friends when someone ask how old I am, what day it is, and any number of other questions. My memory seems to be worse than those around me as well. I wish I couldn't hold a grudge. My biggest fear, though, is that it will hold me back from the things I want to do in life, but I plan to try my best to overcome it. Even if I have to keep a database of required information on hand. The thing is, we can do what others can. Even though we (at least in my case, and I hope in yours) often have to look up something that we feel we should know, we retain the understanding of the concept and only have to refresh ourselves on how to apply it (I feel there is a much better way to state this, but I am currently at a lose), so we can do what others can, it just takes us a bit longer.
So here is the fact: some of us have poor memories. Here are the unknowns: can it be corrected? what is the cause? Any assumptions about the unknowns are opinions (whether experience dictates them or not). One option for a cause would be poor working memory. If we go with that one and ask, can it be corrected, well, I am not sure, but studies show improvement using a dual n-back task. Is anyone familiar with this? When I have the time, I plan to start using this to see what happens: http://brainworkshop.sourceforge.net/.
I am too tired to proof this post, hope there aren't too many mistakes.
Last edited by the-anonymous-coward on Sun Apr 05, 2009 4:57 am; edited 1 time in total
#167978 - spinal_cord - Sat Apr 04, 2009 9:53 pm
I also have problems spelling and my math skill's aren't too good either, although I do consider myself quite intelligent, I just never managed to learn how to do either of them very good.
I always just assumed my poor memory was caused by my poor attention span, but then.... what would by the cause of that?...
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#167979 - the-anonymous-coward - Sat Apr 04, 2009 10:17 pm
Short attention span? ADD? Not sure, but I'm the same way. Horrible speller, the worse. Poor at math, but I think that is because I didn't pay attention in high-school. I am actually relearning algebra right now, for fun. Then I will move on to more advanced mathematics. I think a big reason is to show myself that I can, and because I would like to eventually understand the principles of various fields of physics, quantum mechanics and whatnot.